Retro Beauty

People always cite Marilyn Monroe as the quintessential ideal for a voluptuous type of beauty and sexiness. And hey, even after taking into account that her time period enjoyed fuller figures compared to now, her image still works for me! I love having a kind of role model for the unapologetically curvy body, especially in someone so influential. So in dark times of body-image trouble, I just meditate to this image and remind myself that curvaceousness can be absolutely stunning. Cheers!

UPDATE: This post provides great and appropriate commentary on the recent Marilyn Monroe memes. Although I wasn't commenting here on any of the offensive memes that feature women pitted against each other or ones that shame women with skinny bodies, the post still sparked a question in my mind: does my draw toward a full-bodied role-model still point to a kind of internalized sexism? Am I perpetuating the value we place on women's bodies above all else, or am I just happy to see a prominent woman whose body looks like mine? Is this my own internalized male-gaze speaking, and should I focus more on health? Yes, probably, all of the above. All I can say is that I continue to be amazed at how complicated and confusing this issue of body image is. 

Heroine

I love to watch all of the crime-solving murder mystery shows that TV has to offer. But even though those shows do feature some women in smart scientific roles, the leads, the people who manage the teams, supervise the cases, and ultimately take the credit for solving the crimes, are usually men. Just check it out: Gil Grissom, Mac Taylor, Horatio Caine, Patrick Jane, Jethro Gibbs, G. Callen, among many others.

Then I stumbled upon "Bones." This show features a male FBI agent + a female forensic anthropologist duo who catch murderers by examining the victims' skeletal remains. Not only is her expertise essential to the investigations, but she is also intelligent, courageous, and often saves her partner's butt in sticky situations. Her character, Dr. Bennan, is based on a real forensic anthropologist, professor and author. And although Dr. Bennan's "socially awkward" and unapologetic manner with which she speaks of her own talent is sometimes ridiculed on the show, overall she knows how to assert herself and never backs down on her convictions.

Check out this kick-ass woman taking front and center!

Of course I realize that this is TV, with its limited capacity for good and flushed-out characters that make everyone happy. I am still excited to finally see someone like her on the screen. She is not oversexualized, but she talks about sex in a woman-centered empowered way. She does not dumb down her knowledge and does not struggle with having a professional identity while secretly pining for quiet days at home with children. She is not over-feminized, has both male and female friends, and even has conflicted relationships with her family. In other words, it's as if she's a real human being! 

The other day at work, I caught myself asserting my thoughts and opinions in a group discussion, while feeling unapologetic for my insight and skills. I found myself mentally referencing what Dr. Bennan would do and how she would handle herself in a professional situation. It may feel wrong to break gender role convention, I thought, by demanding that people listen to what I have to say, but at least I have a virtual role model who has shown me that it's OK to do so. This is when I realized, viscerally, how powerful media images truly are, in negative and positive ways. I can only hope that the future of TV holds more Dr. Brennans for the benefit of all of us. 

Naked Truth

This morning while dressing in front of the mirror*, I made an interesting discovery. When I look at my body naked, I quite like what I see. You know, I like seeing the curves and the contours. I allow myself to feel sexy, or even just secure in my feminine appearance, kind of like a strong confident goddess. I don't see my body as somehow misshaped; I think it is right in the average range as far as women's bodies are concerned: not too tall, not too short, not too fat, not too skinny, and without any visual abnormalities.

This is not actually my body. Image source: here.

But it is when clothes go on my body that my self-conscious thoughts set in. Something about the way I am used to seeing clothes on women's bodies--on mannequins in stores, on women on TV, etc., and probably something about the way clothes are made using generic patterns that don't actually fit many body types--immediately switches my thinking from "oo-la-la" to "uh-oh." Solution? We should all go about life naked and loving our natural bodies. Not likely to happen? Ok, then maybe we can agree to work to expand our view of women's bodies in clothes to include all variations of shapes.

*This is an interesting phenomenon in itself. How many women get dressed in front of a mirror, or definitely check in the mirror before leaving the house? How many men do this?

Un-femininity: women and skulls

Source here

Skulls are so unfeminine. There is something about death and about the macabre dark nature of skinless face bones that apparently does not go with femininity. Because women can't possibly think about death, or be in dark moods, or have anything to do with the human skeleton.

Source here

I know that traditional femininity generally does not include "gross" or deathly or internally bodily things altogether. Women are not associated with things like worms or boogers or shotguns. But there is also something particular about the image of a skull, and the meanings that it evokes, that people won't put together with their idea of a woman. I guess I am sensitive about skulls and images of skulls because, well, a) I collected human skull figures in high schools, but people then wrote it off as "teenage angst", so my identity as an adolescent overrode my identity as a women. But also, 2) I have a tattoo of a skull on my wrist. And aside from the gasps I get for being a woman with tattoos (more on this later!), I especially get weird looks, even from tattooed folks, about it being a human skull. It's not a cartoon skull, and it doesn't have a feminizing bow on it. It is realistic and human and it's there to remind me of just that: that death is imminent and life is fleeting, as is the external, and we are here to make things work for each other.

So skulls can be versatile, skulls can be quite spiritual, skulls can be philosophical, skulls can be just anatomy, but skulls are part of our experience. I wish women were allowed to be full human beings who may be fascinated by all parts of our existence.

Un-femininity: women with shaved heads

Source of photos here

I want to post a few thoughts regarding our notions of femininity, to discuss and challenge what is considered characteristic and/or necessary parts of being a woman. Thus the title "un-femininity" questions whether the aspects mentioned in the posts are in fact unfeminine.

So recently, perhaps due to summer heat or artsy moods, I have been wondering about women with shaved heads. Not that I am seriously considering shaving my head, but in a sense I am attracted to the notion. There is just something so freeing and startling about it. Even in our age where men with long hair are noticeable but not uncommon, women with shaved heads are singled out, and usually not in a good way.

We still consider women's hair essential for femininity, and women with long, full hair are true women indeed. Just notice how many volumizing, moisturizing, safe-guarding, upkeeping, and accessorizing products exist for women's hair. Women are at their best when their hair is straightened, then waved, lightened and brightened, shiny and noticeable. Women who chose to keep their hair short usually have to justify their look by being "an artsy pixie" or worse, by being a "psycho chick who took a raiser to her head". Whereas women with longer hair are just women. This obsession with long hair for women could be part of the general focus on women's appearances. Although it seems that there is a special connection between women's hair and femininity in that when hair is missing, womanhood is fundamentally compromised and often women must overcompensate with other symbols of femininity to convince others to see them as women, like by parading children in strollers or wearing frilly dresses.

So yes, something inside is telling me to be a walking example of changing femininity.